As a lesbian woman who has been in the dating scene off and on for several years, I know the lesbian dating scene is unlike any other dating scene out there. Women. We are emotional, picky, sometimes clingy, and always looking for someone to love who loves us as much as we love them. And when you have 2 women in the same relationship, sometimes things can get a little, shall we say, messy.
I have been fortunate to find my life partner, but trust me when I tell you; it was NOT an easy task. It took years of dating, falling in love with the WRONG women, getting set up on blind dates, and trying to heed my own advice when it came to love and relationships. I was one of the lucky ones. For all of you single women who are out there still searching for the “one”, I feel your pain.
Many people are surprised when I tell them how hard it is to find a good woman in today’s world. Lesbian women deal with many of the same frustrations as our “breeder” friends when it comes to relationships and finding a good partner. My biggest frustration was finding a woman who didn’t feel the need to fit into some cliché version of a butch or femme woman. Many of the butch women I dated wanted to rule the roost and have control over the relationship… Ummm..That’s not for me. I am and always will be a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need to have her choices made by anyone else, be it male or female. For any of you who actually dig that kind of thing, more power to you, but I’m a believer in being an individual..and INDEPENDENT individual.
Then we have the other end of the spectrum.. The femme females who feel as though they are entitled to be taken care of by their significant other. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll pamper a woman all day, and all night, however, I don’t want anyone relying on me for everything in their life. I don’t want a woman who doesn’t want to work, nor do I want a woman who doesn’t want me to work. In either of those situations, one of the people in the relationship will always be reliant on the other. And honestly, can you really have a good relationship when that is the case?
I believe in equality in a relationship. Equal sharing of chores, bills, and all the nonsense that goes on behind the scenes. I believe couples should make major decisions as a team so that each party involved is somewhat satisfied with the outcome. I believe in compromise. You will find that most of the time, you and your partner, or potential partner, don’t always agree on things.. That’s not a bad thing! You don’t have to be twins, for gosh sakes! And, don’t expect that there will never be arguments in the relationship. Arguing can be healthy if done properly. It’s almost an art. But, you have to have the ability to express your opinion and still keep an open mind to actually hear what your partner has to say.
Ladies, being a lesbian is hard enough as it is. Our pool of potential partners isn’t nearly as large as our hetro counterparts’. But, if you keep an open mind and keep your options open, you’ll be more successful in the end.
We all have our lists of things we are looking for in a potential partner. We are all attracted to different things both in someone’s personality, and in someones appearance. The trick is finding the right combination of both. And, that my friends, takes time.
I used to love lesbian online dating because it allowed me to meet a vast array of people without the awkwardness of having to actually go on a date with all of them. I met a lot of my past girlfriends on online dating sites. The ease and convenience of online dating are the reasons more and more singles are turning to the internet to find a potential mate.
You’ll have to cast your line in a lot of ponds to find that special someone, but you’ll only be successful if you actually try. Mix it up! Don’t limit yourself to just one avenue of dating. Utilize online dating with the more conventional methods, like meeting through friends, at clubs and through other organizations you might be involved in. Dating isn’t easy, but if you don’t pressure yourself into falling in love with the first woman you go out with, you just might come away with some good friends, and find that special someone when it’s all said and done.
Good luck and happy dating ladies!